Tony Mendoza

humorist & musician


Friendly creeps Andrew Peyton and George McAuliffe created this evil short.
It’s called Stalker.
I scored the film, and contributed two original songs.
“Bonafide Stalker” and “Slice of Life”.
Stalker also stars Allison Bills, Wes Haney, Ben Seeder and Mark Vannier.

Nurse Novels • Poof! • On Sale Now

Here’s a link to the new Nurse Novels record.
It’s the best!
We aren’t a band anymore.
In fact, this is our second posthumous release.
It’s #1!
It was recorded by Greg Norman.
He was in The Bitter Tears.
He plays horns on it.
Also Alan and Mike from Bitter Tears play on it, too.
The Bitter Tears aren’t a band anymore.
They were the best!
Nicole Vitale from Unicycle Loves You plays and sings on the album.
She moved to NYC with that band/her husband.
She’s #1!
Thea, Tom, and I from Let’s Get Out Of This Terrible Sandwich Shop played on this album.
Sandwich Shop broke up before The Nurse Novels broke up.
We were the worst!

Tijuana Hercules • Y-Not Y-Not Y-Not, Milwaukee WI


Drawing by John V Forbes

It was our third night in a row.

Thursday we were a quartet: John, Julia, Jim & I.
After the set, Live Wire Lounge offered up a German smögâsbord of spiced sausage, potatoes and kraut.  Plus a Satanic sit-down version of Galaga called Satan’s Hollow.
ImageFriday we were a duo: John & I.
I took the bus to the gig, so I only brought pots, pans & the giant harmonica.
As the musical guest on Talk Hard at ComedySportz, we played a six minute, seventeen second set.  I know because I timed it onstage with a stop watch.
Meanwhile, a drunken shell shocked comedian clutched his Fosters despondently.
“That was weird.”

Tonight we were a trio: John, Chris Hall & I.
The van was seatless and I gladly claimed the floor for the trek to America’s Dairyland.
ImageY-Not Y-Not Y-Not is a wooden A-Frame on Milwaukee’s East Side.
It attracts all varieties of drinkers and thinkers, but mostly drinkers.
We lugged our gear up to the second floor, a loft with a stripper pole and an inaccessible Romeo & Juliet balcony.
To our surprise (read: dismay), there were no other bands on the bill.
The booker was decidedly unavailable.
And no sound man.
The bar manager pointed us to the PA.
“There’s a CD player so you can play CDs between sets.”
We retrieved the lone microphone from downstairs, and fiddled with the sound system.
To set the mood, John played the club’s Madonna CD from The Year 2000 and activated a Radio Shack tri-color freakout light.

At 11pm, John & I took seats behind our instruments while Chris Hall stood behind loner drums.
We settled into a comfortable bed of F#m.
A small cluster had gathered at the bar.
We had accepted our role as background music for Saturday night drinking chatter.

Out of necessity we began to amuse ourselves.
My sticks took to playing the stripper pole and the metal air ducts on the ceiling.
A few heads turned when I started ramming them into what looked like a glory hole.
The barflies liked that bit.
I pulled the blanket out of the bass drum and used it for a brief nap on stage.
Then I wrapped the blanket into a bindle and tied it to the end of my harmonica.
Chris played the carpet.
John remained seated an in F#m.

ImageIt was 1am.
We had been playing continuously for two hours.
Just when we were about to wrap things up, a siren in a short skirt began dancing.
At this point I was under the pie tin mistletoe by the glory hole, pounding a floor tom with my bare hands.
She took off her shoes.
Her legs were shapely and delicious.
Suddenly we regained our appetite.

The Barefoot Siren attracted attention from all circles.
Barfly paper.
A couple of folks joined us on percussion.
One gal spun around on the stripper pole.
Her suitor hovered nearby, his bling sparkling in the Radio Shack lightning.
A few girls shook their asses to the drum accents.
Occasionally the Barefoot Siren curtseyed in the opposite direction, giving us a wondrous eyefull.
R Crumb heart attacks all around.
ImageDuring this new found joyousness, drama at the bar ensued.
The bartender blew his top and slammed a door off its hinges.
A few moments later the cops arrived.
An offending patron was taken into custody.
We stayed in F#m.
As long as the Barefoot Siren kept dancing.
And curtseying.

We played until 2am.
Bruce Springsteen eat your nuts off.

The Paper Machete • This Saturday

My wife and I will be performing this Saturday at The Green Mill as part of The Paper Machete, Chicago’s salon in a saloon.  Enjoy the debut of Bobby Jr. & Aubrey Oaks, parishioners of a Texas mega-church!

The Paper Machete
Saturday, September 7, 2013 • 3pm
The Green Mill
4802 N Broadway, Chicago

Tijuana Hercules • Shakin’ It For The Locals

JOHN v. FORBES has been a BUSY BEAVER this summer.
I’ve had the PLEASURE of joining him on some recent CAPERS.
A few other ADVENTURES are lined up, with more in the works.
Come check out TIJUANA HERCULES.

Tijuana Hercules
August 29 • Maria’s Packaged Goods & Community Bar, Chicago IL
September 14 • Cole’s Bar, Chicago IL
September 26 • Live Wire Lounge, Chicago IL
September 27 • Talk Hard Variety Hour @ ComedySportz, Chicago IL
September 28 • Y-Not III, Milwaukee WI

Read up on our revisit to DUBUQUE, IOWA.
Then listen to this BONKERS FREAKOUT from the forth-coming extendo-player MUDSLOD.
Finally, dig this KOO KOO VIDEO for “PANTHER CRAWL”.
It was HAND animated from SCRATCH by JOHN v. FORBES!
Jammin’ on the 1!
TH • Tony Dubuque 2013

Nurse Novels • Poof! • Releases October 1

Nurse Novels • Poof!
Releases October 1, 2013

Chicago no longer needed any more bands.
Respectfully, The Nurse Novels bowed out.
But not before quietly knocking out one more album.
They called it Poof!
And vanished.


1.  Wimps
2.  Mary Hartman (Episodes 1-25)
3.  Money Man
4.  Emptiness In Yes And
5.  Carnie’s Gone
6.  Water Bed
7.  Popsicle Moon
8.  Budget Graffiti
9.  Ferris Wheel Test, 1893
10.  Unbreakable Pocket Comb
11.  Kaye Bee
12.  Prom Sniffles

When purchased on bandcamp, the full length album includes an EP of home recordings and other assorted garbage.

Rejection Hawaii EP
13. Conscientious Objector
14. I Don’t Have Much To Say
15. I Am Aware Of You
16. Jackpot of Bees
17. Sunday Maria
18. Snowcomber

Other Assorted Garbage
19. Ferris Wheel Rules
20. Ferris Wheel Patrons
21. Nurse Novels Ringtone For Your Phone

Thea Lux • Guitar, Vocals
Tony Mendoza • Drums, Percussion, Keyboards, Vocals
Tom Vale • Keyboards, Guitar, Vocals
Nicole Vitale • Bass, Vocals

Alan Scalpone • Horns, Accordion, Bass Clarinet
Michael McGinley • Fiddle
Greg Norman • Horns
Lauren Dowden • French Horn

Recorded by Greg Norman at Studio Greg Studios II

Artwork by Allan Kass


Goosano: An American Bonehead & The Quest For His Cuban Roots

Cuba Libro

My Grandfather in Pre-Revolution Cuba
My Grandmother in Pre-Revolution Cuba
My Uncle & Father in Pre-Revolution Cuba
My Family in Post-Revolution Cuba
Operation Peter Pan
Miami 1962
A Cuban Family in 1960’s Iowa
Eerie, Iowa
Dad (Cliff Notes Version)
Meanwhile In Iowa • Part I
Meanwhile In Iowa • Part II
End Of The Line
My Childhood
Preguntas About Spanish
Discipline vs. Letterman
Music Intervenes
Pre-Revolution 45’s
An Adulthood of Sorts
San Antonio 2008
Miami 1987
A Second Act
When? Why? How? Who? What?
Goosano Glossary
Immigration Information
Casa Particular
Off The Grid
Vampires In Havana
Miami Portrait 1963
Havana Photos • 1949 y 1950
Trinidad, Cuba 1956
Dad’s Miscellania
Religion Provides Some Answers
Secular Answers
Dad’s Little Book
Letters From Cuba • 1966-1973
Pre-Trip Acknowledgments

Cuba Tres
The Trip

¡Oh Canada!
American Jitters, Cuban Fritters
Havana Affair
Bailar En Un Paladar
Meet The Tour Group!
Hemingway House
Hemingway House (photoset)
Máquinas & 3-Wheeled Wonders
Getting Around In Havana (photoset)
Paella Rock
El Callejón de Hamel
El Callejón de Hamel (photoset)
“Viva La Revolución”
The Flamenco Football Hall of Shame
Misceláneo I
Vivero Organopónico Alamar b/w Casa del Niño y la Niña
Vivero Organopónico Alamar (photoset)
Centro Habana y La Pornografia de Ruinas
Bodeguita del Medio
Salsa Verde
Ghost Dog
A Morning Stroll Through Old Havana (photoset)
Convento Belén vs. “The Real Havana”
Workshop Breakdown
Spiderman b/w ¡Shopping!
Piña Colada Pit Stop (photoset)
La Lluvia de Oro y Buena Vista-Mania
Gusanos del Oído
I Want My Romantic Cuban Sunrise Now!
The Man In The Tucked In Shirt
National Literacy Museum of Cuba
National Literacy Museum & Batista’s Mansion (photoset)
Jose Fuster’s Home & Studio (photoset)
Jaimanitas, Cuba (photoset)
Pink Kool-Aid
A Taxi To LaGuarida
Misceláneo II
Bent Back Tulips
Viñales Valley Vacation
Road Trip to Viñales Valley (photoset)
Cigar Farm
Tobacco Farm (photoset)
Late Night with The Village Dames
Mrs. Brainwash
Abdala Recording Studios
Abdala Recording Studios (photoset)
Museo Nacional de Bellas Artes
Cicatriz Hermosa
Poopin’ Kooks
Casa Ana Morales
A Cuban 5K
Gato Tuerto
Misceláneo III
KooKoo Taxi
Coco Taxi (song)
Colegio de La Salle Vedado
Sunday in Vedado (photoset)
Colón Cemetery
Cementerio de Cristóbal Colón (photoset)
Tourist Notes • February 10, 2013
Maxim Rock
Last Night in Havana
Sueños Son Sueños
My First 24 Hours (video)
More Music More Music More Music More Music (video)
Havana, Jaimanitas & Viñales Valley, Cuba (video)
Maylú, Live at Gato Tuerto (video)
On My Own (video)
Maxim Rock (video)
Get Back

I Went To Cuba

Did you know I’m half Cuban?
I just recently found out myself.
Not really, but I finally got around to exploring this mysterious heritage.
Please enjoy.
Goosano: An American Bonehead & The Quest For His Cuban Roots
Archive page
Blog in reverse order

On The Road with Tijuana Hercules

There’s no stopping the Tijuana Hercules.
June 30 we christen the Deep Blues Festival in Bayport, Minnesota.
Should be a pig of a time.Image

In the meantime, revel like a rebel about our trot down to Georgia for the sole purpose of avoiding the 2012 NATO summit.

The Tijuana Hercules Runnin’ From The Riots Tour
May 17 • Escape From NATO
May 18 • Little Kings Shuffle Club, Athens GA
May 19 • Star Community Bar, Atlanta GA

Unicycle Loves You Failure Tour Diary • Leg 5: Eastern Phallusophy

And then the days turned to mush.

April 10 – Garden Bowl, Detroit MI

April 11 – MOTR, Cincinnati OH

April 12 – Wilbert’s, Cleveland OH

April 13 – Albert S. George Youth Center, Barnesville, OH

April 14 – Piano’s, NYC

April 15 – Big Snow Buffalo Lodge, Brooklyn NY

April 16 – Escape From New York…To Poughkeepsie

April 17 – BSP Lounge, Kingston NY (now with litigation!)

April 18 – The Middle East, Boston MA

April 19 – The Bug Jar, Rochester NY

April 20 – M Bar, Philadelphia PA

April 21 – Garfield Artworks, Pittsburgh PA

April 24 – Daytrotter Session, Rock Island IL & The Empty Bottle, Chicago IL